[Advaita-l] Conversations With God - Greetings

[Venkatesh Murthy]

Namaste

I found this one is better.

Madhava, an Advaitin, is traveling in an airplane at an altitude of
30,000 feet. With him are a Visishtadvaitin, Dvaitin, and a Gaudiya.
The pilot announces that they are going to crash into the mountains
very soon, picks up the only parachute on the aircraft, and jumps out.
The Visishtadvaitin says, "If I am really a Sesha of Narayana, He will
save me", and jumps out. The Dvaitin says, "I have practiced the
Vaishnava dharma all my life without fail. I have great Bhakti in Sri
Hari. Let Him save me even as He saved Prahlada when the lad was
thrown down from a mountain top." and jumps out. The Gaudiya says,
"Who am I to demand that Krishna save me? I am only His eternal
servant. A servant does not have the right to demand anything from His
master. Let Him save me or not. It is entirely up to Him." and jumps
out. Madhava, the Advaitin, smiles and pinches himself. He finds
himself lying on his bed at home. It was all a dream!

Madhava's beautiful wife, Lakshmi enters the bedroom and says, "It is
our wedding anniversary. Don't you remember?" Madhava gets up, and
hands her a new necklace. "Happy Anniversary, my dear!", he says and
kisses her. They make love passionately for an hour. When it is all
over, she drifts into deep sleep in his arms. Madhava thinks, "I just
had the sweetest time of my life in the loving embrace of this
beautiful woman who now lies in my arms. But is it real? Am I closer
to realizing Brahman?" He pinches himself and wakes up.

He finds himself behind the steering wheel of his sedan, just about to
crash into a huge tree on the roadside! He frantically tries to avoid
crashing into the tree but it is too late. The crash is violent. But
the airbags pop out in time, and he notices his wife in the passenger
seat is safe too. His child in the back seat is not so fortunate. The
child has been thrown out of his seat and has collided hard with the
windshield. His wife is sobbing uncontrollably. She is talking to the
child who does not respond. "Call emergency now!", she cries. Madhava
calls emergency. A voice responds at the other end. "You have reached
emergency services. How may I help you?" "Help us! We just crashed
into a tree and my child is injured. I am not sure he is breathing.
Please send an ambulance immediately.", shouts Madhava. "Hang in
there! We will be there in a couple of minutes", says the voice and
adds "Meanwhile, please pinch yourself." Madhava pinches himself and
finds himself in an Ashram in the Himalayas.

He is wearing saffron robes, sitting in the company of three other
monks in one corner of a large hall. He can see the serene Himalayan
range outside. One of the monks tells him, "Madhavananda, Guruji is
going to continue teaching the Mandukya Upanishad today. This is the
Upanishad which explains the waking, dream, and sleep states." He adds
with a wide grin, "You need to listen to it in while awake!"
Madhavananda replies, "Of course! I will be wide awake while listening
to our beloved Guruji Sri Sri Sri Sankaracharya. He appears to be only
32 years old and never ages. People say he has been living for more
than a thousand years. He is immortal. Only a fool would waste his
time sleeping while Guruji teaches." Soon, the Guru enters. The
disciples prostrate themselves before him. The youthful Guru takes his
seat. They all begin to chant the Shantimantra.


On Thu, Aug 4, 2011 at 3:30 AM, Rajaram Venkataramani
<rajaramvenk at gmail.com> wrote:
> The following should be viewed in a lighter vein - seriously. An advaitin,
> vishishtadvaitin, dwaitin and a gaudiya have this conversation with God.
> This is just greeting and will post more if members like it.
>
> God: Hi! I am god.
> Dwaitin: Oh God! without you this dust had no happiness. Now it is all bliss
> - like fresh breadth of air (vayu).
> Vishishtadvaitin: How can you be without Him? We are all his attributes
> only. The only thing is we were in the beginning (adi) his servants (sesha)
> but forgot it until adisesha himself reminded the truth through his
> bhashyas.
> Dwaitin: You poisonous snake. How can we be His attribute? It will dirty
> Him.
> Vishishtadvaitin: We can never dirty Him because His attributes are always
> clean.
> Gaudiya (crying)
> God:Why are you crying my dear? Are you upset that my devotees are fighting?
>
> Gaudiya (crying louder): Oh! God! How can I think ill about these bonafide
> devotees whose dust I am not fit to worship? I am crying because I am
> wondering what is my misfortune that you should appear before me.
> God (startled): Why is that a misfortune dear?
> Gaudiya: More than directly seeing, true devotees enjoy unlimited bliss in
> separation that even the lord separated Himself while remaining one with
> Himself to appear as a devotee and at the same time as the covered yuga
> avatara to reveal Himself to everyone.
> God: I dont get you
> Gaudiya: You are inconceivable even for yourself. Only your true devotees
> can understand you by your mercy. Behold your mystic opulence!
> Dwaitin: How can the all knowing God be inconceivable to Himself?
> Gaudiya: You are too much in to logic
> Vishishtadvaitin: It is His easy accessibility. That is His greatness
> Gaudiya: You are simply interested in His Majesty but cannot see His
> simplicity. Only those who take the dust of the dust of the dust of the
> cowherd boys can.
> God (to advaitin): Why are you silent?
> Advaitn: I greeted.
> God: I am sorry I did not hear you in all this din
> Advaitin: Oh! I did not say anything (smiles instructively)
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-- 
Regards

-Venkatesh