[Advaita-l] Conversations With God - Greetings

[Rajaram Venkataramani]

The following should be viewed in a lighter vein - seriously. An advaitin,
vishishtadvaitin, dwaitin and a gaudiya have this conversation with God.
This is just greeting and will post more if members like it.

God: Hi! I am god.
Dwaitin: Oh God! without you this dust had no happiness. Now it is all bliss
- like fresh breadth of air (vayu).
Vishishtadvaitin: How can you be without Him? We are all his attributes
only. The only thing is we were in the beginning (adi) his servants (sesha)
but forgot it until adisesha himself reminded the truth through his
bhashyas.
Dwaitin: You poisonous snake. How can we be His attribute? It will dirty
Him.
Vishishtadvaitin: We can never dirty Him because His attributes are always
clean.
Gaudiya (crying)
God:Why are you crying my dear? Are you upset that my devotees are fighting?

Gaudiya (crying louder): Oh! God! How can I think ill about these bonafide
devotees whose dust I am not fit to worship? I am crying because I am
wondering what is my misfortune that you should appear before me.
God (startled): Why is that a misfortune dear?
Gaudiya: More than directly seeing, true devotees enjoy unlimited bliss in
separation that even the lord separated Himself while remaining one with
Himself to appear as a devotee and at the same time as the covered yuga
avatara to reveal Himself to everyone.
God: I dont get you
Gaudiya: You are inconceivable even for yourself. Only your true devotees
can understand you by your mercy. Behold your mystic opulence!
Dwaitin: How can the all knowing God be inconceivable to Himself?
Gaudiya: You are too much in to logic
Vishishtadvaitin: It is His easy accessibility. That is His greatness
Gaudiya: You are simply interested in His Majesty but cannot see His
simplicity. Only those who take the dust of the dust of the dust of the
cowherd boys can.
God (to advaitin): Why are you silent?
Advaitn: I greeted.
God: I am sorry I did not hear you in all this din
Advaitin: Oh! I did not say anything (smiles instructively)